Serious Moment: Dealing with Disappointment

disappointment-sign

I recently got some disheartening news. I was tidying my room jamming to some new music and I randomly decided to check my email. At the top of my inbox was an email for a job I had applied to. It was a great job opportunity. I knew I would enjoy the work, the salary, the hours, and the commute were great. I had eve went back for a second and third interview. The last person that interviewed me told me to expect a call within the next week with more information about the hiring process. I was elated. My happiness turned to confidence and my confidence ballooned into arrogance. I thought the position was mine even though it was never directly promised. And then I got the email telling me the position had been given to another candidate.

And just like that my ego shriveled up.

I’d like to think that I deal with disappointment well. This isn’t my first time at the disappointment rodeo. I thought I would share some tips on dealing with the disappointments life may throw your way.

Head in Hands

  1. It’s okay to be sad.

Cry, yell, scream, have a fabulous pity party. But not for long. When I’m down I give myself a space to be human and grieve whatever it is that happened to me. Give yourself a time limit to be sad. But make sure you pick yourself back up, the sun still rises out of the darkness everyday.

2. Make a plan.

Set goals for yourself. How do you plan on overcoming this situation? Was there something you could have done differently to change the circumstances? Make a plan A, B, C, and D. Envision a best and worst case scenario. Prepare for the worst and strive for the best case scenario. Making plans can help to ease some of the anxiety you have about your disappointment because you taking steps to initiate change for the better.

3. Find a support group or an accountability partner

Sharing disappointments may be embarrassing but harboring a secret embarrassment and navigating it by yourself is an extremely lonely process. Confiding in someone else may be scary but it’s also uplifting. You can have an ear to empathize with your situation and also offer fresh perspective on your circumstances. Support groups and accountability partners not only offer a listening ear but those individuals can help keep you on track to change. They hold you accountable for making the steps to get up and through that situation. A text or a call every now in than reminding you how far you’ve come reminding you to stay on track can make a big difference.

4. Look forward

Living in the past is a dangerous thing to do. But we are humans and it’s inevitable to think about past situations. Try to look forward. Take what lessons you can from whatever situation you are/were in and take that with you as you move forward.

I really hope this article can help someone deal with a difficult time. If it did help be sure to comment below or use the #SeriousMomentwithMarsha hashtag on social media!

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Serious Moment: Life after College|Is Your Life Together?

hat tossing ceremony at graduation

Walking across that graduation stage to receive that college diploma was one of the happiest days of my life. I was surrounded by all the people I loved to share such a special moment in my life and I was embarking on a new journey. Or was I? Unlike what felt like every other college graduate in existence, life after college was a murky pond full of a lot of questions and few answers. I didn’t have the answers, but I did have a four year degree in a major I loved but a major that wouldn’t support me financial at this point in my life. A major and didn’t teach any useful skills I could utilize to get a job after college as anything but a menial part-time teaching assistant job and the local community college if that. All through school various advisors would tell me that it’s okay to not have it all figured out after graduation. But how accurate is that? It’s is really okay or is this just a a sweet saying said to prevent the panic and cold-sweats? #QuestionsThatNeedAnwsers So there I was a happy, confused, apprehensive, and petrified graduate. Look ma we made it!aeN9KxB_700b_v1

I was so very proud of my degree and how hard I worked to achieve that degree. But as proud as I was,  I was scared to admit I graduated because I was even more scared to admit I didn’t have a plan after graduation. Would anyone proclaim that they got a brand new Audi but didn’t know where they were taking that car or how they were going to afford to put gas in that Audi? I didn’t think so. So I moved back home and I started to piece my life together. Since moving home I’ve been working a part-time job that was a rude awaking to what the life of a working class American experiences. I’m grateful for the experience and the relationships I’ve made along the way, but work a part-time job on a menial salary has only motivated me to do something more with my life. Being perpetually broke is the pitts and I do not intend to live my life like this on a regular basis.

A year later I have slowly but surely pieced what I think I want from life together. It’s been a long and somewhat lonely journey. Currently I’m applying to various graduate programs and with any luck I’ll be in somebody’s classroom this coming fall or spring. Say a prayer for me please. This past year has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me and an entirely humbling experience. However, I am at a point now where I am okay. Of course it’s still discouraging when I get on Facebook or Instagram and everyone is getting married, graduating with 3 degrees, or traveling the world and I’m just trying to figure out how I am going to pay my next bill. But I know that I have a plan and I know that it will happen because I faith and I’m devoting all of my time to bettering myself. Life goes on, I’m young and I would rather use this time making all my mistakes so in the future I have better direction.

This is just my small story of navigating life as a post graduate with no real plans. I wrote this with the intent to help someone else who’s experienced or is experiencing a similar situation. Who ever you are, you will be okay. Life goes on, find a plan and stick to it. It’s very easy to throw the saddest of pity parties at this point and it’s also easy to get discouraged which can open the window for depression. For that person experiencing this turmoil that best advice I can give you is to stay positive no matter how hard it is and find ways to keep busy. Use this time to find a new hobby or refine a skill you already have. Work, volunteer, write a short story, look at the benefits of your current situation. When in you life will you every be this free to do what you love and have copious amounts of time to devote to that love? Use it wisely my friend and stay humble.

Thank you for sharing this #SeriousMomentwithMarsha

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